I'm officially... "Old"

    I've noticed the older I've gotten, the farther I push back the 'Old' threshold. At 15, 30 was old. At 20, 38 was old. Now at 27, 75 is old. Until this weekend, I had decided I would never reach 'Old' status. As long as I feel young, I'm still young, right??? WRONG.
    I was pumping gas this Saturday when I noticed this guy kind of staring at me. Ok, he was totally staring at me. I was flattered for a minute. Who doesn't appreciate someone thinking that you're pretty?? The flattery was quickly over and I was creeped out.. because he went from looking.. to walking my way. My thoughts went from, 'Awwwwww' to 'Holy crap he's gonna rob me!" Extreme? Maybe.. but hey! You never know these days!!
    I hopped in my car.. locked all the doors but mine and stepped out to finish pumping my gas. Prepared to kung foo his hiney at any second!
    He walks up to me and was like, 'Hey.' "Hi..." I replied... ready to punch him in the throat and then drop kick his butt across the parking lot. Yes, I went gangster. Sue me.
     "How are you doing?" he asked. "Oh, good.. just getting gas.." Is this how you rob someone these days? Make small talk??
     "I'm good. Just waiting for the bus. You know how the bus is. Always late," he said.
     Actually, I'm pumping gas into my CAR. I wouldn't know that the bus is always late because I have a CAR. Do you see my CAR?! I awkwardly laughed and was like, "Yeah.."
     Right around this time a truck pulled into the gas stall next to me. I sighed with a little relief because it was a big truck.. which meant a big redneck would come to my rescue if this guy decided to try to steal my lunch money. I was in the safe zone.
     As I waited for the gas pump to stop or the bus to show up.. my new friend finally made known what his intentions were. "So, do you know of any good parties tonight?"
     Wait, what.. Party??? I'm in a Mommy Mobile and I have two carseats clearly stationed in my back seat.. and you ask me if I know of any parties?!
     "Um, no." I said under my breath.. I'm sure the look on my face was a like a dog staring at itself in the mirror... Utterly confused.
     "Oh, well I just thought you might know of a good party going on. I was just wanting to party." Still confused... I awkwardly laughed - again - and replied, "Oh.. no. I don't party or anything. I'm not into that stuff."
     At this point I felt we had said all that needed to be said. I felt secure in knowing he wasn't going to rob me and he knew I wasn't a partier. What else needed to be said? Conversation over.
     NOT. "OH! You must be OLD then! I thought you were a teenager."
     HOLD THE TRUCK RIGHT THERE PARTNER! Old?! I MUST BE OLD?! When did I get old?! I can party!!! I can party... I like Chuck E Cheese. Isn't that a party?!?!?!
     Holy crap... That was the moment. There it was.   I. Am. Old.
     I shook the thought of depends, dentures and wheelchairs and yelled back at him (since I was his grandmas age apparently, he decided to walk away), "AHHH! Yeah! I'm old!! Almost 30 over here!!!!" He didn't even respond..
     Then my gas pump stopped and I was left with my new found reality... my Senior Citizen Status.
     Time to invest in some Moo Moos...

    

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Mommy, I need you to cuddle me 'cause I'm sick"

"Honey! I'm home!" That's what the stomach bug said when it came to our house this weekend. Starting Friday Tom has some KILLER  gases coming from his tiny body. I don't see how such a small person can make such a strong smell! Anyhoo, as I was saying, it started Friday. All throughout the day he would let one rip and we would all go running. I didn't think much of it. I just figured it was something he had eaten. We went to a get together at the church for New Years and when it was close to being over one of the teachers came and got me because Tom had had an accident. I got him all cleaned up and still didn't think much of it. He's been known to have stomach issues and I thought this was just that. Saturday was the same. He was gassy pretty much all day and then at night started having problems again. I was getting a little suspicious but not overly concerned. Well, the bug started yelling about 2am on Sunday! Tom came in my room and was running...
Read more

"Be careful. He has a concussion"

So the whole Hallanderson family was hanging out last night when I noticed Chase's nose was bleeding. My initial thought was that with this funky weather and all the heaters going his nasal passages were dry. A while later I noticed a bruise on his head.. this made my Mommy Radar go off the scale and all these scenorios started going through my head. "OMG. Chase fell, hit his head, broke his nose and has some internal injury that is slowing messing up his organs." or "OMG! Chase hit his head and now his nose is bleeding! He must have brain trauma! He's slowly becoming mentally damaged and I didn't even notice!" and "OMG! CHASE HAS A CONCUSSION!!!!! HE'S SLOWLY TURNING INTO A VEGETABLE! CALL AN AMBULANCE"  OK.. So I'm extreme.. You get all of me or none of me. ANYHOO! My first thought.. well.. rational thought.. is to check his pupils. So, I got a flashlight and checked them! They were A-OK! My next move was to call the doctor wh...
Read more

One. Year. Later.

Image
    How incredibly ironic that I stumbled upon my blog today.. when just a few days ago I posted my "One year later" photos on Facebook.     So, one year later what has happened? Well, a lot. One thing that hasn't happened? The Chocolate 5k that I discussed in my last blog post ONE YEAR AGO! HA!     I've always been horrid at New Year Resolutions, so I'm not surprised I never made it to the land of the chocolate eating athletes. BUT I WILL THIS YEAR!!! Well, not THIS year technically but at the next running of the chocolate in February of 2014. AND instead of running with the 5k level athletes.. I will be in the coveted 15k group!! (A side note, while I will be one of the 15k groupies.. I will not be one to envy.. pretty sure I'll need chocolate to up my sugar levels so I don't pass out during the 9 miles.)      Anyhoo, back to my post title. A year later. How neat to look back and see how pitiful I was... haha, just kidding.. but ser...
Read more