I am who I am and I'm not who I'm not.

"Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual,

you have an obligation to be one."  - Eleanor Roosevelt

     Individual - adjective. Being single or separate; characteristic of a particular person or thing; having a striking or unusual character, original.

     How often do we place ourselves - meaning our identity - in that of another person, thing, or situation? How often do we introduce ourselves by referring to another individual? "Oh, I work with Sally." "Yes! I am Susan's son." "I'm Donald's wife." "Yeah.. I'm the one that threw up all over the coffee table at the New Years Eve Party."

     At what point do we realize we are who we are.. not what we are. Yes, we're parents. Yes, we're wives and husbands. Yes, we're family members and co-workers.. but WHEN are we US? When am I just me? Just Franny?

     This is a question I've asked myself a lot lately. Who am I? What do I have to offer to others? What do I have to offer to myself? I have always found my worth in a title, position, situation, and even in other people. Never have I had the desire to find my own worth in myself.

     It's like working the register at a fast food place. As long as customers are coming in, ordering food, and leaving happy.. then I'm happy. As long as I'm making others feel good then I feel good... but in all this pleasing of others, I have ultimately lost myself.

     The statement, "You are who you are" has been said to me A LOT lately. It's made me really evaluate things. More often than I'd like to admit, I find myself apologizing for being me. It's as if what I feel is irrelevant. I'm literally apologizing for having feelings. For being hurt or frustrated.. I even apologize for being happy. When did I decide this was OK?

     I am who I am. I feel what I feel. And that's OK! It's OK for me to put my foot down and say, "This is what I want." It's OK for me to draw a line and say, "This is what I need." It's OK for me to hurt and it's OK for me not to. At the end of the day, I have to live with me. I have to live with what's inside me. And only I can decide what's enough for me... enough for me to still be me.

     So, who am I? I am Frances Louise Hall. I am passionate. I am easily excited. I am affectionate. I enjoy helping others even when it costs me to sacrifice myself. I like the color blue but I'm not sure if I like it more than pink. I like receiving flowers - for no reason. I want to feel loved. I need to feel wanted. I make mistakes.. a lot. I stumble on my words when I'm nervous or upset. I cry when I don't know how else to express myself. I cry when I do know how to express myself. I overthink - everything. I feel the need to talk about something until it's resolved... but majority of the time talking won't resolve it and I just beat the dead horse until I'm so exhausted I fall asleep. After a fight with someone I love, I want nothing more than for them to hold me and tell me it's going to be OK. I believe in fairy tales.. because I believe we have the power to make them happen. I believe in love. And in this journey of my life... I finally believe in me.